terça-feira, maio 27, 2008

O Portugal dos Pequeninos

Isto aqui no blog ha tempos que anda um bocado sem rumo... a imaginacao nem sempre se encontra nos melhores dias, e isto ultimamente mais tem parecido um blog de viagens do que outra coisa qualquer. Vamos la a ver entao se mudamos isto, que senao ainda perco os (poucos) leitores que cá param.

À falta de melhor tema, resolvi falar desse importante acontecimento que teve lugar no fim de semana passado e que todos os anos se reveste de um caracter altamente interssante do ponto de vista analitico - O Festival Eurovisao da Cancao.

Comecemos pelo contexto. Como guilty pleasure, confesso que durante uns bons anos fui espectador assiduo desse evento da musica ligeira... coisa que terminou aí há uns valentes anos - seguramente mais de 10 ou 15. Nao sei muito bem explicar porque, mas achava piada a todo aquele desfilar de musica pseudo-pirosa vinda de todas as partes da Europa. Isto ja para nao falar na "animada" parte em que o juri de cada país telefonava a dar os seus pontos as cancoes da sua preferencia... "Am puan pur le Peiii-Bas, dou puan pur L'itali, ..." e assim por diante. Era lindo, tinha um nao sei que de "cheiro a mofo" que viciava.

Escusado será dizer que durante todo esse tempo assisti a, de uma forma consistente, NINGUEM ligar pevide as musicas portuguesas... fossem elas boas ou nao, estivesse a interprete meia despida ou com botas da tropa. Nada feito. Ninguem, alem da Espanha e dos emigrantes, achava as nossas cancoes interessantes, facto que nos valeu termo-nos tornado no pais que ha mais tempo participa no festival e que nunca ganhou uma edicao.

Este fim de semana, resolvi acompanhar (enquanto fazia outras coisas ao mesmo tempo, para nao morrer estupido) o evento deste ano. A primeira coisa que reparei foi que a coisa mudou muito... a comecar pelos paises que participam... sao quase todos de leste, falam todos "asdrovnia zdenia iadnavi", mas cantam todos em ingles que é uma categoria! Nao interessa, da pontos! Depois, todos eles tem uma especie de estrategia comum de enviar mocas bonitas, com muita saude e energia, com cintos a servir de vestimenta, mas que de cantar, enfim, nao percebem muito. Nao interessa, da pontos! Ha tambem os que nao cantando em ingles, metem uma batida tecno-pop-metalica na melodia, que a malta ate se esquece que esta a ouvir cantar em romeno e comeca a abanar a cabeca. Tambem nao interessa, da pontos!

E Portugal? Bem, Portugal faz mais do mesmo: manda um camafeuzito a falar de ondas e da senhora do mar e tal e coisa... coisa que, nitidamente, NAO da pontos. A musica ate podia ter qualidade, a senhora podia ate cantar bem, mas eh pa, nao da!!! E ja muito conseguiu ela... Mas isto nao é de agora - é historico. Ja se mandou o Paiao a fazer Playback, a Dulce Pontes a falar de Paixao, a Sara Tavares a chamar a musica, a Lucia Moniz com o cavaquinho e até a Dina com as laranjas e o kiwi e as outras frutas todas e nao da, nao funciona! Portugal é pequeno demais para ter aspiracoes a ganhar aquela cena. Nao temos quem nos de votos, nao temos vizinhos que compartilhem connosco cumplicidades. Nao somos uma Russia que se partiu aos bocados e deu origem a 50 paises que insistem em dar pontos uns aos outros... Somos, e vamos continuar a ser, o Portugal dos pequeninos, que canta bem, tem boa musica e bons poemas (se excluirmos as letras da Rosa Lobato Faria), mas nao alegra ninguem...

Apesar disso, se os senhores da RTP quiserem continuar a insistir neste martirio que é todos os anos levarem para casa o trofeu do eterno-derrotado, eu deixo aqui a minha formula para a vitoria. Primeiro, nao insistam em cancoes com qualidade. Quem vota é o povo e o povo raramente sabe reconhecer o que é de boa qualidade. Segundo, esquecam o Portugues, cantem em Ingles - de preferencia escolham um cromo ou croma com ma diccao, para nao se perceber bem em que lingua estao a cantar e criar assim uma sencacao de falso exotismo. Terceiro, escolham assim uma melodia estilo "Apita o Comboio" que ponha toda a gente a abanar o capacete. E, por ultimo, se nao for pedir muito alguem que ajude a lavar a vista!...

Pode ser que assim tenhamos mais pontos do que essas potencias musicais que sao a Arménia, o Azerbeijao ou a Georgia.

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